Here Comes the Bride and There I Go

I’m out of sorts. Out of my mind and out of patience. Everyone in the world needs to stop getting married. Right now. I received another wedding invitation in the mail (ok so it was the only one I got, but about the millionth I’ve had to hear about). Now, I know what you’re thinking and it’s something along these lines, “stop being a bitter 24 year old, realize you’re too young to get married and shut the hell up.” Did I get it right? Maybe, maybe not. All this marriage business is scaring me into being a grown up which I’m not so sure you’re supposed to be scared into as “enter willingly.” (that may have been a sarcastic joke as well, you be the judge). But all I’m saying is does everyone else need to slow down? Or do I need to speed up?

I’m not domesticated, not in the least bit. I have no use for kitchen ware, china patterns or wall paper swatches.  I constantly ridicule these things, but like the boy who pulls the hair of the girl he has an affection for,  am I just hiding behind the “I don’t care” mode.

I can be cool, I can be sophisticated. I can be a modern woman of the world. I can, right? I don’t need marriage or a man to make me happy. Am I just lying to myself? If I’m not then why all the bitterness? This is what I think. We are programmed into being brides from the time we are little girls. Wearing your mother’s doilie on your head and marrying yourself off to the neighbor boy is common practice in this country. It may be in other countries too I just don’t have that knowledge.

We know that a bride is beautiful, graceful, charming and downright lucky and if we work hard enough to fit these ideals we can too be a bride one day. Well, I’ve know brides that were not beautiful, graceful, charming or even lucky. My former best friend chose to marry someone with quite a hefty criminal record,  I wouldn’t call that a “lucky catch.”

So is it just society tricking us into thinking that’s all we’re worth? Or is it our own instincts? I think it may quite possibly be a little bit of both on this one.  Can we combat it? I’m sure we can, but I fear there may be a little bride inside all of us wanting to grow up into a real life bride. If I could squelch that I would, because damn is it getting annoying!!

I’m going to try to not rain on anyone’s parade. As difficult as it may be, in order to keep up my ideal of being a beautiful, graceful and charming bride someday I best keep my mouth shut.  Besides I can go to these weddings and crash my diet with the dessert tray and wedding cake, I  think that sounds like quite the fine plan. Or at least its the best I’ve come up with for right now!